status

came out to my parents last friday.

probability of blog failure 0.6 and rising.

missing

attn: probability of blog failure 0.32 and rising.

i opened a faceyspace. it's not as honest or as gay, but it is moderately more interesting to me. speaking of being honest and gay, i've started to take some crap from a few of the people at work that makes me wish i didn't come out. i don't think i would have not come out given the choice, it's just a little irritating.

important, now hear this

attention

situation unchanged.

that is all.

i hate manhunt

i truly hate manhunt. that big dude deleted my email, which might not be a bad thing, since i was just telling him i wanted to chat. still its not a good thing. there's a normal guy who's looking for love, but i'm not sure i'm interested in him. and i had to decline a chat with some other random dude, i hate doing that. i'm not really good looking enough to justify ignoring as many guys as i do; it only serves to keep me alone.

update

if i read this correctly, and i'm afraid i do, it means he deleted it without reading it. not good.

weekly wrapup

• i hate long weekends. this one snuck up on me, as they often do.
• i've been beating my dick like it owes me money.
• my bear came to visit, and then i went to visit him at his new job. i actually got to talk to him for approximately 1ks, it was great. i still adore him.
• some nudists wanted to chat with me on the manhunt, i was intrigued but i logged off. if i enable chats i get a lot of chat requests, and i hate hitting decline, but all too often i'm just not interested. there's a big bi muscle bear on there that i'd really like to land, against all odds.
• i sunbathed in a thong today. i'm paranoid that my neighbors saw me, as unlikely as that may be. i did hear an exclamation of surprise from inside their domicile, but that was probably from the news that the 23 year old's great grandson quit smoking again.

hmm. mondays are better than sundays.

i don't know if i was just hormonal yesterday or what, but i took some more pics and they look quite passable. it was probably because it was sunday night and i truly despise sunday night because on sunday night i have been alone for 48 hours. which is why long weekends are such an ugly prospect for me.

the camera hates you.

i tried to take some pics for my profile. rubbish, all of them. i need a better subject for my self-pics. it's not so much the face — the face is tolerable — it's the body, i can't do a thing with it. i have the body of a romanian girl, and not a romanian olympic gymnast girl either — that would be an improvement.

ugh, snl

i frigging hate will ferrel. not funny.

southland's john cooper

i don't know if it's intentional on the part of the writer's but i can't help but notice that john is the only character who has no interpersonal relationships. and in this latest episode we find out that he's in severe pain and can't have it treated because he doesn't want a desk job. alone and in pain… i can relate.

unfortunately he's not as cute as his partner, but he is beefy.

um, uh, i hate to be a bother, but...

...um, this life, i uh, well i screwed it up a bit.

— — — – — –?

well, the one side is ok. but the other side, is um; well it's missing.

– – — — —– – — –?

uh. well, i could rebuild the other side theoretically, but um, i… don't really know how.

–– – —– —. – – – — — –– — –?

well if i could have another that would be nice.

–– – —– –!?!

um. well yes.

—– – –!! — — – — ––!?!

well i don't know what to do with this one. i think i may have screwed it up too badly.

––– – —–– –?

well i've not had one before. i'm hardly an expert.

– — —–— —?

ah. i see.

— – — –—.

yes. well. sorry to waste your time then.

– — —.

and to you.

— click —

fucking pissing me off

my neighbors are fighting. i fucking hate my neighbors.

hulu house

i watched the episode of house where kutner offs himself, on hulu. it was far more moving than i had expected. the hindu (i assume) funeral/cremation was wonderful.

i don't want to k‌i‍ll myself, but to be entirely honest i've considered threatening it in order to get attention. does that make me a bad person?

story of my life

really? … what a shocker.

shikata ga nai

i like hot guys. hot guys are usually straight. i'm not interested in playing with guys can't have feelings for me. it cannot be helped.

expensive pants

i just bought some rescue pants from inseam clothing. they'd better look at least half as hot on me as they do in the pics, especially considering how much they fucking cost. jeebus.

and yes, i am totally wearing them to work. what are they going to do, fire me? please.